People Listening

I consider myself a good listener. I think my friends do too, at least in my present they do talk, and perhaps a little more openly than they would like.

I like to sit and listen to people, nodding or hmmming when appropriate, I've found people like this, less interference for them. Every friend always has a person they turn to when things are bad, or they need someone to talk to. A Confidante. They might not necessarily be the closet of their friends but someone in whom they confide their darkest worries or troubles. I seem to be this person for a number of my friends, flattering in a way that people are so comfortable with me.

I've noticed that my clients have inadvertently started to do this too. I meet many couples in my line of business, and most of our time spent together is one on one and so its easy for them to open up to me. The saying 'the grass is not always greener' springs to mind quiet a lot for me. It never ceases to amaze me how people interrupt situations, or how they even see themselves. And its also never ceases to amaze me the amount of people who stay married, get married or remain with a partner even though had they the choice to start over they wouldn't and if they could do things differently they would.

I am sure you have all said to yourselves, or to a loved one, when am I going to be rich, or when am I going to have a job I like, or when am I going to get that promotion, or when am i going to meet a man i can really marry and spend the rest of my life with... my answer - when you get up off your big fat ass, believe whatever it is you want will happen and start being proactive about what you want!

I have 2 friends whom I adore. The sweetest women ever. Both very strong willed and minded. Both in relationships they openly admit aren't working. One staying with her partner for the sake of the children (a whole other blog topic that I wont get into right now) and the other, well the other... with a shred of love I think. Both relationships are self destructive, both parties in each relationship are unhappy and making things worse as neither seems to do anything about it. Now by no means am I saying 'chuck in the towel' and be done with it (unless of course that is what they want) but seriously why go on with nasty text messages, snide phone calls and abrupt voice-mails. In an age where we have numerous ways to communicate with one another I think plain old fashioned talking face to face is all but forgotten.

I know you are probably thinking, easy for you to say all this, you are probably one of those 'greener patches of lawn' we are all admiring, and I know up until last night one of my friends thought this, but we're no greener than anyone else... every relationship has its own troubles thankfully we're able to communicate and work through it - but that wasn't always the case.

I just think people make themselves unhappy by accepting situations and allowing them to continue and not stopping and thinking how can I fix this. I always say to my husband, if you have a problem, don't think about the problem, think about the solution and if you can't find a solution ask for help. As they say 'life is what you make it' and it can be that simple.